The Chocobo Race
by Laer Aerlinn
Summary: This is about [points to title] a chocobo race, if you haven't figured that out yet. Who won? Find out now. Oh, read and review, please!
1. The Chocobo Race

Vivi: 'We headed to Lindblum for a famous chocobo race

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Final Fantasy. If I did I wouldn't be writing stories about it.

Vivi: 'We headed to Lindblum for a famous chocobo race. Zidane's going to register himself as a contestant. I hop-'

Zidane: Vivi, stop writing in that diary and get over here.

Vivi: It's not a diary it's a _journal_. Hey, isn't that a herd of chocobo? I wonder if they're wild.

Zidane: Nah, they're probably bred specially for the race.

Vivi: Oh.

* Vivi and Zidane walk down Lindblum's main street *

Vivi: Wow! I thought this was a chocobo race. It's more like a festival.

Zidane: Yeah.

Street Vendor Hank: Royal Action Figures! Collect the entire set!

Zidane: * runs over to where Hank is * Hey, do you have a Princess Garnet figure?

Street Vendor Hank: I believe I do have _one_ left…

Zidane: I'll take it!

Street Vendor Hank: That will be 500 Gil.

Zidane: Here. * hands Hank money *

* walks back over to Vivi * Oh man, I can't wait to go to bed tonight.

Vivi: Uh…

Zidane: Ahem. Let's get registered for the race.

Vivi: B-both of us?

Zidane: Of coarse.

Vivi: I thought you were going to race, but me…?

Zidane: Don't worry. You can do it, Vivi.

* Lindblum castle *

Dagger: Steiner, are you sure you want to go through with this?

Steiner: Yes. If I ride in the race, Beatrix will finally see how great I am.

Dagger: But you've _never_ ridden a chocobo before…

Steiner: Does that matter?

Dagger: … … …Beatrix is in the race, too, you know?

Steiner: No! …Now I must race against my beloved Bea-bea.

Dagger: * sweatdrop * Bea-bea…?

Steiner: That's the nickname I gave Beatrix. Isn't it cute?

Dagger: Yeah, real cute…

* streets of Lindblum *

Eiko: Excuse me, I'd like to register for the race.

Registration Lady Ruth: Alright. Do you have a chocobo or would you like to rent one?

Eiko: I suppose I'll have to rent one. How much does it cost?

Registration Lady Ruth: It depends on which chocobo you pick. We have five left. 

* gives Eiko pictures * Look these over. We have Suzana, Knight, Rica, Arl, and ,um, … Bobby… Corwin…

Eiko: Hmm… * looks at pictures * I'll take Bobby Corwin.

Registration Lady Ruth: R-really? Okay, that will be 20 Gil.

Eiko: 20 Gil? Is that all? Here you go. * hands Ruth 20 Gil *

Registration Lady Ruth: Thank you. Your chocobo is number 111 in the stables.

Eiko: Great! * runs off to the stables *

* race area *

Announcer: Attention! All participants in the chocobo race are to report to the starting line, on their chocobo. The race will begin in thirty minutes.

Zidane: All right, come on Vivi and Rusty, it's time to go!

Steiner: I can't believe I have to race against my beloved Bea-bea…

Zidane: Get over it, Rusty.

Dagger: I'll be cheering all of you on from the stands.

Zidane: But you'll be cheering extra loud for me, right?

Dagger: * sighs *

Zidane: I'll take your silence as a yes. Come on, guys!

* Zidane, Vivi, and Steiner head towards the stables *

Dagger: I better get a seat before the race starts.

* spectators area *

Ruby: Oh, hello Dagger. Did you know mah Blank is racin' today?

Dagger: Really? Zidane, Vivi, Steiner, and Beatrix are racing, too.

Ruby: Well,… mah Blank is gonna win against yer Zidane.

Dagger: … …What!? No way! Zidane'll win.

Ruby: Care ta make a bet?

Dagger: You're on!

* stables *

Zidane: Hey Vivi, what's your chocobo's name?

Vivi: Uh, let's see… * looks at plaque in front of chocobo * "Ima Loser". Huh?

Zidane: * laughs hysterically * Man, that's funny!

Vivi: * blushes * Well,… what's _your_ chocobo's name?

Zidane: * reads plaque * "Choco".

Vivi: Oh.

Eiko: Zidane! Vivi! * runs over to Zidane and Vivi * You're in the race, too?

Zidane: Yeah.

Eiko: So Vivi, what's your chocobo's name?

Vivi: Ima Loser. …No! I can't believe I fell for it again!

Eiko: * giggles *

Zidane: What's your chocobo's name, Eiko?

Eiko: Bobby Corwin.

Zidane: * whispers to Vivi * Isn't that the name of the chocobo in the Black Mage Village?

Vivi: Y-yeah. I think so…

* * * * *

Steiner: B-beatrix?

Beatrix: Yes, Steiner?

Steiner: G-good luck!

Beatrix: Luck? Luck is for losers and I'm a winner. * walks away with her chocobo *

Steiner: You got that right… The only thing I can do now is to make sure Beatrix will win. Hmm, …I could bribe the other contestants… Yes. That's the only way! I must hurry! * runs off to "bribe" others *

* spectators area *

Baku: Gwahahaha! Are you sure both Blank and Zidane are racing today?

Cinna: Yeah, Boss.

Baku: Good. We need publicity. If one of them wins, they better say they're from Tantalus.

Cinna: Yeah, but Zidane quit, remember Boss?

Baku: Oh. Right… Then we'll cheer for Blank! He better work his ass off.

* race area *

Announcer: Welcome to the ninth annual chocobo race. This year we will test the speed and endurance of each participant by having them race over a variety of different terrain: grass, swamp, beach, forest, and desert. Now let's meet the racers. First we have Zidane Tribal, riding Choco.

Zidane: * waves * Hi darling!

Dagger: * blushes *

Announcer: Vivi Orunitia, riding Ima Loser… Oh, that's terrible…

Vivi: …

Announcer: Eiko Carol, riding Bobby… Corwin…

Eiko: * giggles *

Mr. 111: * from stands * Go, Bobby Corwin! …My baby, in his first race. Good thing I brought lots of film.

Announcer: Adelbert Steiner, riding Retto.

Steiner: (I hope those bribes paid off)

Announcer: General Beatrix, riding Save the Queen…

Beatrix: I named it after my sword.

Announcer: Uh, Blank, riding Mr. Cuddles…

Blank: You don't wanna know what mine is named after… …but for all you sick minded people out there, it's named after my cat! That's right! I'm a cat lover!

Announcer: * sweatdrop *

Ruby: Yeah! Go Blank! You can win, darlin'! …But that's not what you told me…

Blank: * sweatdrop *

Announcer: Um, Harold Pathknower, riding Rally-Ho.

Harold Pathknower: Me chocobo's named after-

Announcer: Moving right along, our final racer is Kuja, riding Angel of Death.

Zidane: Kuja!? What the hell are you doing here!?

Kuja: Why, isn't that obvious? Racing.

Eiko: Uh, is your _chocobo_ wearing makeup?

Kuja: Yes, it's very fashionable these days, just like mine.

Announcer: And those are our 8 racers. When the bell sounds, the race will begin. Ready. 3, 2, 1…

* bell rings *

Go!

* racers take off on their chocobo *

And they're off on this exciting chocobo race!

* What do you think so far? E-mail me at [eiko_carol5@hotmail.com][1] to vote for who you want to win the race and in the next chapter the winner will be revealed ( if I get good reviews, of coarse! ). *

   [1]: mailto:eiko_carol5@hotmail.com



	2. And the winner is...

Announcer: This race is off to a most exciting start

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and/or voted. The winner has been decided, so read on to discover who will be victorious. * ^0^ *

Announcer: This race is off to a most exciting start. The first type of terrain our participants will face is grass. Let's see what's happening on the big screen…

* giant screen turns on and the race is shown *

And it looks like Kuja on Angel of Death has the early lead and young Vivi is in last place. It looks as if his chocobo is being uncooperative…

* grass field *

Vivi: Come on, Ima. Can't you go _any_ faster?

Ima Loser: Kwwweeh… KWEH! KWEH! 

Vivi: Huh? 

* Ima stops and starts munching on some grass *

Vivi: Hey, what are you doing?

Ima Loser: Kweh! KWEH! KWEH! * continues eating grass *

Vivi: Don't you tell me it's gyshal greens. I've seen enough grass in my life to know _this_ is grass.

Ima Loser: Kweh! * munches grass *

* * *

Zidane: Hey, Kuja, your makeup is smudging!

Kuja: Oh, no! * pulls out a compact mirror * Grr. Stupid monkey-boy! My makeup is perfect!

Zidane: * laughs as he passes Kuja *

Kuja: I'm going to make you pay for that. I'm going to make you _all_ pay…

* * *

Steiner: * beside Beatrix * H-hello, Beatrix. Nice weather we've been having.

Beatrix: This is a race, not a social party! * passes Steiner *

Steiner: Wait! I'm starving for attention!

* * *

Announcer: Our racers are now approaching the swamp. They will have to pay close attention not to get sucked into a deadly mud-hole. Now, Zidane is the leader of this race, but I don't see Vivi here yet…

* swamp *

Zidane: Yes, I'm winning. * looks around him * Hey, this is Qu's Marsh.

* Quina is by frog-catching pond *

Zidane: Hey, Quina. What's up?

Quina: The sky.

Zidane: * slows down * No, what I mean is, what's going on?

Quina: Nothing going anywhere, Zidane.

Zidane: No, what I mean is, what are you doing?

Quina: Oh! If that what you mean, you should say first. Me trying to catch froggies. * sees a frog and jumps on it. Frog is crushed * No! That tenth one today.

Zidane: Good luck! You'll need it…

* * *

Blank: Alright, I'm in fifth place. Now I just have to pass the five people in front of me and I'll be in first place. It'd be easier if I didn't have this belt-thing in front of my eyes…

* * *

Harold Pathknower: * singing *

Rally-Ho's oor sacred greetin'

We say it most every day.

Rally-Ho's oor sacred greetin'

It's really A-okay.

Eiko: Hey, dwarf, move it or lose it! * zooms past Harold *

Harold Pathknower: Whoa! * falls off chocobo into a mud-hole *

Announcer: Oh, it looks like one of the racers has fallen off his chocobo, which means he's disqualified. We have people helping him out as I speak. …What? We don't? Oh! I would like to apologize to any friends or family for this inconvenience…

* * *

* grass field *

* Vivi is sitting on Ima, but there's no grass left in the entire field *

Vivi: Come on, Ima. You ate all the grass. Are you ready to go now?

Ima Loser: KWEH! KWEH. * Ima dashes forward *

Vivi: Aaah!

* * *

Announcer: The next area is the beach where the participants must trudge through deep sand. Most of the racers have made it here, but Vivi still seems to be missing…

* beach *

Zidane: * looks behind him * I wonder where Kuja is. I thought he was right behind me. Oh, well, I'm still winning.

Choco: Kweh! Kweh!

Zidane: What is it Choco? Have you found some treasure? ( I'm gonna be rich!)

Choco: Kweh! 

* a pink chocobo is standing behind a palm tree *

Choco: Kweh! Kweh!

Zidane: Hey, this is no time to make a date!

Choco: Kweh! * runs toward the pink chocobo so fast that Zidane falls off *

Zidane: Ouch!

Announcer: Oh, another racer is down. This time it's Zidane Tribal!

* spectators area *

Dagger: Oh, no. Zidane…

Ruby: * laughs * You can start makin' that check out now, darlin'.

Dagger: Blank didn't win yet. Come on, Steiner, Beatrix, Vivi, and Eiko, you can win!

Ruby: * sweatdrop *

* beach *

Steiner: Isn't this a romantic spot?

Beatrix: I thought I got rid of you.

Steiner: I'm not that easy to get rid of.

Beatrix: Tell me about it…

__

Sleep!

Steiner: Huh? I… feel… sleepy… * falls off chocobo *

Beatrix: Me… too… * falls off chocobo *

__

Heh, heh, heh…

Announcer: Two more racers, Steiner and Beatrix, have mysteriously fallen off their chocobo. How or why it happened, nobody knows… With four participants remaining, this race comes down to the final types of terrain, desert and forest. Now it seems Kuja has fallen way behind…

* desert *

Eiko: Yes, now _I'm_ winning! Bobby Corwin, you're the best!

Bobby Corwin: Kweh!

Eiko: * giggles *

__

Slow!

Bobby Corwin: Kwweeh!

Eiko: Huuhh? Wee'rre sllooowiinng doowwnn.

Bobby Corwin: Kwweeh!

__

Heh, heh, heh…

Blank: * passes Eiko and Bobby * Ha! Now _I'm _winning!

* spectators area *

Ruby: Go Blank! You're winnin', darlin'!

Dagger: …

* * *

Baku: Well, it looks as if Blank's gonna win after all.

Cinna: Yeah… ( Damn. I bet _against _him. Now all my hard earned money and my Princess Garnet doll…) * cries *

Baku: I never knew you cared so much about him…

* desert *

Blank: * looks behind him * No one behind me. I'll just take it easy and prepare my acceptance speech for when I win. Let's see… "I would like to thank all my brothers in Tantalus-" Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Forget that last part.

__

Water!

Mr. Cuddles: Kweh! Kweh!

Blank: Huh? What is it, Mr. Cudd-! * falls into a mud-hole *

__

Heh, heh, heh…

Announcer: Oh! Another racer is down! Blank on Mr. Cuddles. And this time, we _do_ have someone helping him out. …What's this? Kuja has now appeared, leading the way into the forest…

* forest *

Kuja: Heh, heh, heh… My plan worked and now I will be the victor. That pathetic black mage is no threat to my triumph because he is even more pitiful than his chocobo. * yawns * We'll just take a little nap, Angel. We need our beauty sleep for when we accept _my_ winner's trophy.

Angel of Death: Kweh! * walks under the shade of a tree * 

Kuja: 'Night, Angel.

Angel of Death: Kweh…

* desert *

Vivi: Wow, Ima, I never knew you could be so fast. Why did they name you "Ima Loser"?

Ima Loser: Kweh!

Vivi: Anyway, we're probably too late to win the race now. Let's just finish it.

Ima Loser: Kweh-kweh!

Announcer: Look at that! Vivi Orunitia is entering the forest. His chocobo appears to have gained great speed. And with Kuja, uh, sleeping, Vivi's chances of winning are very good.

* forest *

Vivi: * sees Kuja sleeping under a tree * Hey, is that Kuja? Maybe we won't be last after all.

Ima Loser: Kweh! Kweh!

* Vivi and Ima pass Kuja and head for the finish line *

Announcer: It looks like Vivi and Ima are going to be the winners of our ninth annual chocobo race.

* crowd cheers *

Vivi: Why are they cheering? They must be glad they can finally go home now. I didn't know I took _that _long. But _Kuja_ is still sleeping…

* forest *

* Kuja and Angel are sleeping peacefully *

Kuja: * sleeptalking * I'm so happy that you selected me as the "Most Fashionable Man of the Year". I will always remember this when I put on my makeup.

* * *

Vivi: * crosses the finish line * 

Announcer: And here's the winner of our chocobo race.

Vivi: Huh? Winner?

Reporter: * runs up to Vivi and Ima * That's right. How about a photo for "Lindblum Times"?

Vivi: Okay, sure.

* camera flashes *

Vivi: *0* 

Reporter #2: Vivi, when did you know you had the win?

Vivi: Actually, I didn't until just now. I thought I had lost.

Reporter #3: * chuckles * He's so humble. Do you plan on racing again next year?

Vivi: Well, maybe. I'm not really sure. But I have a question. How come my chocobo's name was "Ima Loser" when she could run so fast?

Reporters: ???

Old man: I can answer that for you.

Vivi: What? Who are you? 

Old man: You must've been reading the chocobo next to Jimmy's plaque.

Vivi: Jimmy? You mean I was riding Jimmy and not "Ima Loser"?

Old man: That's right. He gets fired up after eating some grass.

Vivi: Some? He ate a whole field!

Old man: * sweatdrop * He must've been extra hungry.

Vivi: Yeah…

Jimmy: Kweh! Kweh! 

* Sort of like "The Tortoise and the Hare" idea, but it was because of _your_ votes for Vivi ^.^ …Anyway, review and tell me what you think *


End file.
